Mr. Brass’s Christmas song post yesterday got me thinking about “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”, and how much I hate that song. I mean…what it accomplished was astonishing…but the song itself is awful.
It took me 14 years to be able to get past thinking “I don’t think most of them CARE if it’s Christmas. They’re probably not Christians”. When I could finally Ask Jeeves about religion in sub-Saharan Africa, I found that the population is – surprisingly – predominantly Christian. So now I think “Yeah…they probably care, but a sandwich and a mosquito net would be better things to find under the tree than Hot Wheels and Eric Cartman boxer shorts”. That illustrates their plight very well, because Hot Wheels and Cartman boxers are obviously excellent gifts.
Now I’m hung up on the lyric “tonight thank god it’s them instead of you”. While I’m grateful for my win in the birth lottery, I’m certainly not thanking any deity that somebody else is miserable and not as fortunate as I am.
Not long after Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” and USA for Africa’s “We Are the World” were released, Ronnie James “Rodney Dangerfield” Dio noticed that the metal community was under-represented in the charity for Africa genre. He assembled a bunch of musicians with gorgeous hair and foil-wrapped cucumbers in their pants, and they went to 11.
Hey look you guys! It’s Ted Nugent in his “not quite as much of a rectal wart” years, and Vince Neil in his pre “I can afford to eat whenever and whatever I want and so I do” years.
I like Hear N’ Aid better than the other, more commercial songs. It’s a funnier name, and the nearly 3 minute long guitar solo wank-o-rama is appealing. Say what you will about 80’s metal, but those people had chops. ALL the guitar players could shred, and ALL the vocalists could absolutely belt.
Just for giggles, I’ve also included the original Band Aid video, and the 30 year re-boot of Band-Aid underneath the Hear N’ Aid video. I didn’t include USA for Africa, because it’s an even worse song than “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”.
All along, all I’ve really wanted to be is a writer. So now I tell people that’s what I am, even though I haven’t earned a dime being a writer.
That being said, I’ll confess that once a day, every day, I wish I was still a musician. That was the one time in my life when I was cool.